Chapter Thirty-Five

The day came exactly how I had expected. As soon as I woke up everything that I had been pushing away came rushing back, and on top of that I was having terrible morning sickness. Edalyn and Scarlett both tried to talk to me but I ignored them, just shaking my head and telling them to go away. I clutched my necklace in my hands and listened to the voices outside my door.
"I came to see Vinnie."
"She's sick."
"Then I'll go tell her to feel better."
"She doesn't want to see anyone."
"Please?"
"Ugh, fine."
The door opened quietly and I heard him walk up to my bed.

"Please go away Josh, I really don't want to see anyone." I mumbled. He sighed. 

"You seem like you could use some company." Josh said, his voice closer. The bed dipped as he sat down behind me. Yes company, but not yours! I thought angrily. He thought I was just sick, but he had no idea what I was really going through.
"Will you at least say something?" He poked my leg. I stayed silent.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?" He asked. I glanced up at him from the corner of my eye. Josh shifted to face me more. "I mean, it's obvious that this is more than you not feeling well." 

I bit my lip. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him so badly. But he was one of my only friends now a days and I didn't want to screw that up.

"Please, I just want to help you." Josh said softly. I sat up, drawing my legs under me.

"I know you want to help, but I'm not going to explain something to you that you won't understand." I snapped, harsher than I meant to. It didn't faze him though. Josh slid closer. His blue eyes were soft and so easy to get lost in. I sniffed, wiping my eyes and immediately spilled.

"Please don't say anything, and just listen." I mumbled. He nodded. "I'm not sick, I'm pregnant. I wasn't living with my boyfriend, I ran away when I found out. My aunt didn't know anyone in Pounawea, she's dead." Everything continued to tumble out, although I managed to leave out anything supernatural or dealing with Maria. 

Josh sat in silence the whole time and when I finished he moved closer to me. His face was full of concern. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Your boyfriend, did he hurt you?" He asked. My eyes widened.

"No - I mean, not intentionally." I sputtered. He slid over to sit beside me on the edge of the bed.

"Are you still going to be my friend?" I asked tearfully.

Josh leaned over and gently pressed his lips to my cheek. Something flashed across his eyes, a sort of sadness. He rubbed my arm and tucked a lock of white hair behind my ear. It was the same sort of gesture Reece would of done.

"Of course silly." He smiled and stood up. A set of voices drifted into my head.

"Axel, he won't answer. What am I going to do?"

"Have you prepared yourself for...you know."

"Don't even say that. I'd-I'd know. I'd feel it."

I shut my eyes and dropped my necklace from my hand. I stood up and followed him as he headed for the door. Josh reached out and brushed a tear off my cheek with his thumb. 

"You gonna be okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said. His cheeks reddened and he quickly pulled his hand away. He smiled and ducked out the door, shutting it gently behind him. I ran my hands through my hair and slumped into the desk chair.

What am I doing? I thought. He thinks I'm leading him on. That made me wonder if I'd ever have a relationship again. I tried to picture I life with someone, Josh even, and it just felt so wrong. Reece was my other half, I loved him. What was I going to do?